12 NSFW haikus i wrote at work

1:
i eat dead babies
and i shit valentines and
comedy records.

2:
panty sniffing is
the sincerest form of love,
next to cutting throats.

3:
you just don't get it
keep it copacetic and
learn to accept it.

4:
Kings of Leon are
Coldplay after a pack of
smokes and a tugjob.

5:
shark brain looks like cunt.
so does that mean the mouth looks
the same as a womb?

6:
i just heard Green Day
is putting out three albums
at once. fuck my life.

7:
replace my hands with
live grenades and my cock with
a busy playground.

8:
drill holes in my skull
then pour purple drink in it
for the zombie walk.

9:
is it wrong to pull
for the girl who spits acid
if she's got dem curves?

10:
i propose a mor-
itorium on bands named
after children's books.

11:
don't tell anyone,
but "Black" by Pearl Jam is
an old favorite.

12:
coupled with "Mad World",
it is a recipe for
beauteous sadness.