12 NSFW haikus i wrote while bored at work

1:
i have found that the
quickest shortcut to laughter
is to kill yourself.

2:
maybe it's the cough
medicine talking, but you
should swallow bleach.

3:
a daycare center
held hostage with a syringe
full of drain cleaner.

4:
I want to wear your
ass like a gas mask in the
post-apocalypse.

5:
true profundity
is in absolute absence,
except no it's not.

6:
I can relate to
Thanos from Marvel Comics
a little too much.


7:
anal pulp weighs down
esophagus-glazed dog cock,
said glowing baby.

8:
my right arm might have
extensive nerve damage from
hitting my dashboard.

9:
confessional writ-
ing is for lesbians and
braying jack-asses.

10:
shake shake shake shake shake
shake shake your sensa shake your
sensa shake shake shake

11:
votes republican;
complains about big business
ruining their lives.

12:
spider legs just grew
where my fingers were chopped off.
love me, Emma Stone.