UNIVERS ZERO – Uzed
More brainy smarty music. Makes me wanna listen to Dirty
Three. Don’t know what to put here today. I don’t want to regurgitate UZ
Wikipedia page or anything piss-headed like that. It’s good “you woke up 4
hours ago so stop being groggy” music. I like how parts of “Presage” sound like
Goblin. I hate being nostalgic, but those spidery art rock scores need to
return to horror films. They just add so much more to the upper-echelon sleeze
of Italian gore films. But no, instead we get generic Christopher Young apings
and that’s at best. At worst, it’s a bunch of Mudvayne knock-offs. The other night
I was watching the Muisc Choice ch on Free-On-Demand. Saw a new video from
Trapt. You remember, the “BAHK AHHHF I’LL TAKE YEW AHHHHN” band? That shit was
like the Nu-Metal “Eye of the Tiger”. They’re new single is in the same vein…
it’s called “Bring It” I think. They look like guys who cover their eyes while
watching UFC. Also watched a Seether video. They’re the band with the little
fat guy who pretends to be Kurt Cobain. Now a lot of people have been trying to
be little Cobain clones for the last 18 years, but I think this guy takes the
cake (all of it… he’s fat, you see). He’s sort of like the Elvis Impersonator
from Dread Zeppelin, except that guy can sing. Holy shit this track “Celesta”
is fucking boss. This is the kind of stuff Sleepytime
Gorilla Museum
should be writing. Back to Seether. Anyway, this guy is the king shit of awful
Cobain wannabes. He’s got it all down (except for the “writing songs I would
enjoy” part); the stringy hair in his face, the same scraggly facial hair, the
same ironic monster faces… you’d think with all this effort being put into this
“I WANNA BE KURT” pose, that some modicum of Cobain’s taste and song writing
would’ve crept in, but nope… it’s still just limp stadium grunge. You really
think this Seether clown has ever listened to Scratch Acid or “Raping a Slave”
by Swans like Cobain did? I love that while I’m listening to the mindbending
awesomeness of Univers Zero I’m bitching about 4th generation grunge
bands from the early 2000s. next I’ll tell you the sagas of Three Days Grace
and Smile Empty Soul while listening to Ascension by Coltrane. Cause despite my
pretensions, I’m still a cynical teenager who hates anything more popular than
me.
Favorite Tracks: “Presage” “Celesta (for Chantai)” ,
“Emanations”
7000 DYING RATS – Fanning
the Flames of Fire
I sort of remember this band. I love that they have an album
called Good Luck’s a Comin’. I still
quote that Married… With Children joke
all the time (“oh well that’s a different. does it say ‘the wife is a leavin’”,
“pumpkin that can’t be. the horror with the scope just told me ‘Good Luck’s a
Comin’”). Oh Al Bundy… teaching me that sex with your wife is gross and fat
women are wrong for existing. I only like jokey bands when they’re bizarre
grind like this. Has that awesome blown-out AxCx production, but with all these
weird Naked City/Mr. Bungle elements being tossed about. Some of it is pretty
dumb I guess, but I’m discovering I don’t know funny. People tell me that show Girls on Actch Bea Oh is funny, but all
it does is give me a loath-boner. It’s a hatred that’s almost necessary.. ..
purifying in a way. I’m not gonna make fun of Lena Dunham (that her name?) for
not looking like Kate Upton, as most people are want to do, but I will say if
she’s even 1/100th of the character she portrays on that show in
real life, I’d suggest that the events of a Heather Lewis novel happen to her
very soon. Thing I like about 7000 Dying Rats is that while they have silly
stuff, there’s still enough vicious grooves and polyp-eroding screams to offset
the goofiness. Holy shit @ “Resentment of the Indians”. Don’t feel like writing
anymore. Gotta get ready for my real job. I love all these Radio Ads spliced
into the record. I would blow-off
Lolapalooza for Crowbar, Morbid Angel, and 7000 Dying Rats in 1997.
Favorite Tracks: “and then the Girl Said ‘Why Would You Want
to be in a Band That Didn’t Have a Message?’”, “Weapons of Fiji”, “the Clenched
Fist of White Oppression”, “Resentment of the Indians”.











